Meet My Prince.

March 19, 2018 HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY MY SWEETEST SON! They say it’s your birthday Well it’s my birthday too, yeah They say it’s your birthday We’re gonna have a good time I’m glad it’s your birthday Happy birthday to you! – Beatles birthday song Yes it is your birthday and it is mine too. The day I said hello to Death and swiftly ran away.The day I presented you to the world and almost gave up, but then I didn’t. Your birthday is always a time of quiet reflection,a quiet meditation with love and gratitude.The time of the year I voraciously count all my beautiful blessings and the shiniest of them all :You! The day i retreat into myself and rejoice. The day of rebirth,renewal,reincarnation and re introductions. Happiest birthday my darling first born,my beautiful fragile bird of joy and rejenuvation.Keep soaring high and keep sharing your strong love with everything you touch.  I'm not sure why but i had this posted in my blog of poetry.I read it today and i...

Dearest Yadditu, So another year gone. Another birthday is here. My introductions in the letters I write to you on your birthdays seem almost identical and cornily cliched as I say "I wonder how all the time flew past" .So technically we are skipping that bit this year but that does not mean I dont wonder.I do and wonder hard. This birthday meant a few firsts and a few lasts. This birthday is your last single digit birthday! The last. This birthday is also the last birthday as our only son. This birthday we celebrated in a place called home - our very own first home. This was the year when you seemed to have jumped and wandered off from my arms into this world and have found solace and love and security and happiness in the world of cricket,books and art. You discovered the world of books and reading and my heart always skips a beat when I watch you lost in a book,all alone but not really so. Cricket was a calling you took to like a fashioned Pro.You absolutely...

My dearest Yadditu, 7 year old.I now HAVE  A 7 YEAR OLD IN THIS HOUSE AND NO ONE TOLD ME HOW MUCH FUN THAT WOULD BE! I still cannot seem to remember exactly what life was before you filled our lives.I remember the quiet though vaguely.Looking back it was too eerily quiet to my liking:) Every time I ask you :"Yaddu do you remember the time when they took me out of my tummy and actually lay you on me and we looked at each other?"you always reply affirmatively.That moment is a moment frozen not just in my mind but my soul.Simply fossilized. I will remember that moment forever and ever more clearly and gratefully.It has been 7 years since that day and that moment and every year reminds me more fiercely than the one before how utterly blessed we are to have had the honor to parent you. Last year crushed us all.You were so utterly ecstatic to understand you will be having a baby brother or sister soon.You weren't decided on whether you would want a brother o...

And yet again you raised me up,held me together,when my world was simply falling apart. Thank you Yathaarth for being you - a wonderful,joyous and simple soul overflowing with love that drowns us calmly and steadily. Love it seems,is simply enough. -- Amma

Those pretty nights when we cuddle and hug,just before your beautiful eyes close gently with the ecstasy of sleep,those are the moments when you merrily paint my world red with love. A snippet from one such night: Me:Yaddu,are you happy that God gave us you as your mum and appa? Y:Amma,when we were up there with God,He gave us a special machine( dont' miss the sci-fi touch )where we could talk.Its attached to ourtummies.However God never forgets to remove those machines before He puts us into Mummas. Me:( Simply open mouthed)............... Y ( continues.....): So,God said I can go and choose my amma and appa.He took me to a room.Its called the Blue Room.Mamma,its full of very bad appas. Me:( Now simply curious..).I stay quiet though... Y:Then He took me to a red room,and that was full of bad bad mummas. Me:Oh no.What happened next? Y:I was sad,i dint like any of those mummas and pappas. Me: Hmmm Y: God then told me there was beautiful Golden room,with the most golden...

Found this in the drafts - publishing it now:) Hey there lil soldier! After you were born,I never wrote a single letter to you.I did have the urge to,many many times,but never did.So finally,today as you you sleep peacefully in your cot,hugging your blankie tight,I am going to try my best to spill out all those overflowing emotions and love and find the right words to do that. I think I would mentioned a gazillion times as to how much you have changed our lives forever,I think you will be hearing that pretty much a lot.Dad and I still think it all like a dream,a very very beautiful dream,especially when you lay between us on our bed,yapping away to glory or as you sit quietly on my lap as we drive,sometimes listening to what dad and I speak or sometimes answering back,with a lot of BAAAAAAAAAAA'S.It is at moments like these,that your dad and I share a quick smile and WONDER.Wonder in pure awe. You were a blessed child from the moment you were born.You never fussed or cried...

Yaddu baby,my precious first baby boy, You are 5 today!5!! You are such a beautiful soul,such a mature old soul that is so sensitive.I pray you remain this way all your life. Dont ever allow anyone to belittle you saying "your so sensitive" .Being just that is such a precious gift.The tenderness with which you touch my face,and kiss me lightly,or hug me so tight,or try to make me feel better when I am upset,is something beyond your age. This year has been hard on all of us as a family.With Appa being away from us because of his work.But,your love and strength has been pushing us to get back together soon. Sometime during this year,when we were cuddling up during your bedtime,you asked me,"Ma,when will you die?"I told you,"Not anytime now buddy,I have so much to do in this world and Im not gonna go away anytime soon",with a bright smile.You,with tears in your eyes said"Mommy,please never leave me and go away to God,please". There i...

We were looking at our wedding album when you are so puzzled - you ask me "So,was I at Amammma's house?Why am I not there in this picture? "Oh my darling - You weren't born then.Yes,there was a life before you were born - really! I worked full time,I traveled,shopped,read,watched movies lazily with your Dad,played cricket om the road with friends in the apartment,read some more,spent time with friends.And then you my darling - Yathaarth happened and something changed inside me forever! I always pout my lips when I am trying my best to focus and concentrate and the last night when I was trying to finish up the Cup cake stand I was so happily doing for your birthday,you coolly walk up and say"Amma,thats so funny" and I ask what and you say "your lips,the way you do that".I laugh,you hug me tight.The same evening I bite my lip with utter joy when I watch you clean your race car,with pouting lips and deep focus.For I see me.I see a very small me ...

Yaddu baby, I am typing these words with love and gratitude overflowing in abundance as you are tucked in happily for your precious afternoon nap.You insisted you sleep in the living room on the diwan today. It was a rough day and when I broke down,I did not even notice you running away.You came back with a small peice of tissue and said,"Here Amma,please dont cry" and hugged me so hard.At that moment I saw your soul.The loving and brave and beautiful soul.The soul which has always loved me.Just like how i loved you before you were even born,the soul that has always been there for me and will always be.At that single moment I knew,you were given to me,not because I am going to care for you well,but because you are going to care for me so well and always,no matter what will be my best friend. I love you does not define what I feel at the moment. With every ounce of all the love I can feel, Mamma

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watch you take your baby steps into your toddler hood and leave your baby hood behind tonight,i almost feel numb.This time last year i knew i was going to have you in my arms tomorrow and with that in mind i slept through it so peacefully. Tomorrow is a grand big day for you, daddy and me....Its the day we began a family,its the day we vowed to protect and love you through everything and for life,its the day we look back and thank God for the many blessings he chose to shower us with,its the day we received our beautiful miracle. One year with us and you have altered our lives forever.I cannot imagine the love and richness you would bring into our lives in the years to come.

Every day I almost wait for the moment you slip into slumber land,because you have to admit no one and nothing can make mommy tired the way you do. Every night after I put you to sleep I watch you-breathe.I can never take my eyes away from you.It makes me sad,that these days are ending too soon. I touch you and feel your lil heart beating.It is the most beautiful thing I have heard.This was the sound I waited every time to listen to when you were in my tummy.The same sound that made me a woman-the happiest woman in the world.The sound that promised me a family.The sound that reminds me over and again what a blessing life is.

The last 3 weeks have been very difficult to us as a family.We fell ill,and recovered.Then,I fall ill again.It was crazy.It was dengue(yikes).We are out of it now.But it was definitely a TERRIBLE 3 weeks,and it is here that I want to thank my husband.For waking up each night and tending to Yaddie as he coped with his precious lil tooth trying to pop in the nights as I lay drugged with painkillers(dengue brings terrible joint aches and head aches!) and slept.For waking up before the sun comes out,(my son wakes up anywhere between 5 and 5:30 EVERY SINGLE DAY!) and preparing that early morning bottle(read breakfast for Yaddie).For fixing my meals.For juggling work and us so patiently.For showering so much love.For listening to me grumble through the night(some nights the pain was so much that I couldn't sleep). For all of this and so much more that you have done and said.Thank you. ps: You make such an awesome DAD!!!

This was that moment I birthed my baby.8 months later now when I see the clock strike 11:37,my world stops.My brain cannot work.My heart is full of that feeling called love.I am taken over with awe and feel so small and humble,because the moment was a moment that brought me closest to God.No one or nothing in this world has brought me this close to reminding me of all the blessings and emotions explode within me. 11:37 makes me quickly say a prayer for my family and my son.11:37 for me is such a Mamma magic moment.

(Photo:Train journey from Erode to Chennai.) My lil dreamer.Whenever I see this picture,cant help but remember this song. Imagine there's no heaven It's easy if you try No hell below us Above us only sky Imagine all the people Living for today... Imagine there's no countries It isn't hard to do Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too Imagine all the people Living life in peace... You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will be as one Imagine no possessions I wonder if you can No need for greed or hunger A brotherhood of man Imagine all the people Sharing all the world... You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will live as one

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.~Elizabeth Stone I have read this quote so many times in the last 6 months and each time it made me smile. But today it made me cry. Yathaarth had a fall from the bed, and it all happened before I could blink my eye. I stood there powerless and incapable as I watched his head hit the ground. I had to pull myself together and it was almost like there was this 'someone’ that pushed me to get going. I scooped him and hugged him trying to soothe him. He cried, like never before. Yathaarth hardly cries, he is a content and easy to please baby and to watch him do this, almost killed me. I felt responsible, damn I shouldn’t have let him on the bed, even if it just meant for like half a second!!!I know it happens, their children they are bound to get hurt and bump their heads, blah blah, but goodness, this was my baby, and he hit his head on the floor right in f...